So, during my hiatus from the internets I got to thinking…. now that my personal crisis may be coming to a close, it’s time to focus on the future of Megahaters. What color is Megahaters’ parachute and what niche will it fill in society? What are my options? My responsibilities?

My issues:

• · I pretty much realized that I can’t keep up with the fast paced world of celebrity bloggers while working my crap job. I just don’t have the skills to crank out a post like some of the masters. I write slow as shit.
• · I am not really sure that Megahaters is unique at all, and it pales in comparison to the blogs I like. Although my page design is pretty f’ing amazing.
• · I am sick of putting rich people on a pedestal, writing about their every move. Why should anyone give a fuck? Besides, 90% of the things these people do are publicity stunts with no truth to them.
• · I don’t want to contribute to poor people feeling shitty, or like they don’t deserve to live a certain lifestyle because they are not part of the elite sect of humans being blogged about. Poor people are awesome and should enjoy the same freedoms as those with money.
• · My life sucks and it’s still more interesting than half of the shit I post.

So I am going to try something different. I am going to just post whatever, whenever and see where it goes, while easing up with the celebrity obsession. I guess it is more of an experiment than anything so we’ll see what happens. I guess that’s it for now. Regular posting to come, I swear this time!

<3,

A

If you live in Baltimore and you catch the local news, than you’ve probably seen this deformed face.  I was so repulsed when I caught a glimpse of that mug that I had to find out who this special lady was.  Turns out it’s Old Nancy Grasmick, school superintendent.  I looked up her Wikipedia page for more info and it simply states:

Dr. Nancy S. Grasmick is the Maryland State Superintendent of schools. She maintains a policy of not speaking to citizens and parents if they have complaints about schools in Maryland.

So then I got to wondering exactly how much money a school superintendent (that will not speak to parents and citizens!) makes every year.   I’m thinking she is a touch overpaid here because her plastic surgery addiction is clearly a slap in the face to every working tax payer in Maryland.  Obviously this bitch has tens of thousands of dollars of disposable income, being funded by people like me who have $50 in the bank until next payday.  And even though I don’t have any kids - and knock on wood never will - you can’t ignore the fact that Baltimore schools are in desperate need of some funding and proper management.  So how much money are tax payers giving Nancy Grasmick each year to completely mutilate her face with the help of a presumably blind plastic surgeon?   Her 2006 base salary: $140,000.00.  Unnecessary!

Phew, I just had to vent about that!

Hey folks.  I know I have not written in a few weeks.  I am kind of knee deep in what I think is a celebrity induced existential crisis.  Let me put myself back together and posting will resume.

That’s my girl!  Amy Winehouse downs a shot with a baby on her hip.  She’ll make a fine mom one day!  I wish parenting was really that fun.  Maybe I would be interested in having kids if there was more alcohol involved…

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Who would have thought? Kelly Osbourne was spotted around town without her signature clown face… and she looks a thousand times better!

I’m telling you, rolling out of bed and going about your day has some advantages. You save time and the money you would have spent buying all that stupid makeup, and some guys are into it. Hell, I got myself a great man and I practically look homeless! Well, not so much homeless as… Derelicte.

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Finally!  Someone has decided to make the world’s biggest fishstick!  That fishstick has two hours and twenty minutes to get from England to Baltimore so I can eat it for lunch!  Tick tock people!

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Today’s video comes from a time when men were men and apparently when eyeglasses weighed 12 pounds. Today’s video is…

Toto’s Hold the Line!

I’m not really one for live videos, but when a video is made to look like it is live, that makes all the difference! These guys were determined to make rock and/or roll look completely effortless! This video also goes out to my dear old mum who owned 5 or so Toto albums; none of them containing Hold the Line, Africa or Rosanna!

Just when you thought the world was already chock-full of idiots…

Ashlee Simpson is pregnant, a source confirmed to Usmagazine.com.

The singer, 23, is expecting her first child with fiancé Pete Wentz, 28.

Simpson and the Fall Out Boy frontman announced their engagement Wednesday.

“We are thrilled to confirm their engagement and congratulate this happy couple,” a spokesperson for the couple told Us. “Beyond that there is nothing to say.”

Simpson’s rep had no comment.

I guess being engaged makes the child slightly less bastardy.

And she never made a dime off of it! What a shame!

A video of Marilyn Monroe giving an unknown man a super sexy blow-jay was put up for auction and purchased for a staggering 1.5 million dollars.

The footage appears to have been shot in the 1950s. When it came to light in the mid-’60s, then-FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover had his agents spend two weeks futilely trying to prove that Monroe’s sex partner was either John F. Kennedy or Robert F. Kennedy, according to declassified agency documents and interviews, Morgan said.

The silent black-and-white flick shows Monroe on her knees in front of a man whose face is just out of the shot.

He never moves into the shot, indicating that he knew the camera was there, but Monroe never looks at the lens, said Morgan, who saw the footage.

Morgan said he discovered the film while doing research for a documentary on Monroe, after talking with a former FBI agent who told him about a confidential informant who tipped G-men to the existence of the film in the mid-’60s.

The feds eventually confiscated the original footage - but not before the informant made a copy of it, which is what was just sold by his son, Morgan said.

There are heavily redacted, declassified FBI documents talking about a “French-type” film.

They state the informant “exhibited [to agents] a motion picture which depicted deceased actress Marilyn Monroe committing a perverted act upon a unknown male,” Morgan said.

When are you going to see this amazing video? You’re not! And it’s all for a good reason. The buyer of the footage says:

‘I’m not going to make a Paris Hilton out of her. I’m not going to sell it, out of respect.’ “

So I guess what we learned here is

• Marilyn Monroe’s sex appeal is as strong as ever
• You can never suck a Kennedy’s dick and get away with it
• Truly EVERYONE hates Paris Hilton.

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Cate Blanchett and her main ho Andrew Upton have just given birth to their third baby, the unfortunately named Ignatius Martin.  Does this mean that people are going to be calling him Iggy?  Oh man, that is so annoying.

Anyway, congratulations to the presumably happy couple!  And congratulations to Iggy Blanchett who was born rich and will never have to work a 9-5.